Wedding Planning - Top wishes and regrets
Planning a wedding is hard work. It can be stressful, time-consuming, and confusing. One of the biggest challenges of planning a wedding is being confronted with choices that seem to hold a lot of power to dramatically alter the path of your event. As with all choices, it can be a challenge to have confidence in your decisions. Most newlyweds retain the excitement of their day long after their guests return home and the confetti settles. After some time, however, pesky regret seems to sneak in for many couples as they reflect on their wedding. While regret is most certainly a useless emotion in all aspects, it is a very helpful one for the couple just beginning their planning. I have compiled a list of regrets that many of my clients, friends, and family have shared with me. Hopefully their misfortunes will guide your thinking and help you to determine which choices just might be more (or less) important to you.
The regrets that made this list are the most popular - being that more than one bride shared the same one.
Asking for what you want.
Time after time I heard couples sharing that the choices they made were to benefit others while sacrificing their true desires. While this selflessness is admirable, it's not always necessary. Your loved ones want nothing more for you to be happy on your wedding day. Making choices that only benefit them could lead to a lot of resentment down the road.
Getting what you want.
Brides are scared of the term bridezilla, and they will often make choices to avoid being called that. Most reasonable people aren't even close to showing the behaviors that warrant the term, however many brides are nervous to get what they want for fear of seeming too pushy. It is ok to ask for what you want. It is also ok to make sure that the vendors you are paying are providing the services you expect.
Buying your wedding gown too early.
It is great to be on top of things. Checking items off the planning list feels good. One of the easiest things to do first is to shop for your gown. If you fall in love with one and purchase it, be mindful of the fact that you may see countless other gowns later in the year that you like just as much or even better. Gowns come out every season, just like every other clothing store. If you buy one early, just try not to look at the magazines or gown sites. On the flip side, make sure that you leave enough room to have your gowns shipped and alterations made.
Not hiring a professional
Budget can be tight and creating a priority list for your wedding is often very helpful. There are certain components to your wedding day that will make your wedding day much easier. Many of my friends were disappointed that they did not hire a professional d.j. or band for their reception. The music really sets the stage for the flow of the evening and a lame m.c. can really make or break the groove.
Planning more portraits
One of the biggest regrets in the photography department is that couples choose not to have portraits taken during the cocktail hour. I get it. For my own wedding, I felt I was missing out on that time with my friends and family. Once we began the portrait process, however, I realized that this time alone with my newly-wed was a gift and an essential piece of down-time before the party. The portraits we had taken were real treasures and great reminders of the occasion. Many couples also regret not planning formal portraits with friends and family with fear that those guests will prefer to be starting their drinks for the evening. Those guests will value beautiful photographs of them looking their best just as much as you will.
Stopping to smell the roses.
This was the #1 regret. So many couples were disappointed that they did not fully take part and enjoy their day. Not only that, but they often shared with me their regret for feeling too stressed during the planning and wishing it away. Enjoy the day, take it all in, be ok with what doesn't go the way you plan and be grateful for what does. Know what matters and value your time.